Perception of loses

Holding breath, quietly removing her blue sandals from her left hand and clutching the handle of door from right, rammed it cruelly.

It was the 7^th cockroach in past one hour Rekhaa had butchered. You know girls hate cockroaches like men hate periods. Rekhaa had just shifted to her new villa she had bought. Her father paid the down payment for it and she has to pay the 84 installments, which she will do easily. She was a freelance designer.

 And it was the kitchen from where she started cleaning. She prepared for the war with the web of spiders, dirt and not so favorite cockroaches and rammed all the little ugly creatures in the kitchen. She hated them as if they were fighting at the Indian border against her father. In her childhood when she was told that her dad was in border security forces of India and there were men who fight against her father, she just wanted  all of them dead in a blink of an eye.

What more a girl can dream for her father’s safety. And what more a father can think of her girl’s safety by giving his private licensed 0.32’’ MK-III revolver to her for unfavorable situations.

While unpacking the bags she was looking for that extra pair of glasses she forgot to put in. It always happen when you have many important things to do, you forget one of them. But it was not that the one regret for. Rekhaa had shortsightedness myopia.

While closing the door of closet a cock roach falls and she dropped her suitcase on the creature without wasting a second, it was the eighth one.

“That was the cruelest murder of an cockroach, not bad Rekhaa ,” said she. 

The room is set now let’s see how others will look at it. My sketched portrait on wooden frame at the top of bed, dark blue cotton wall hanging in the front, sky blue bed sheets following dark blue curtains, navy blue covers on chair.

“Oh blue world of mine, If somebody made a biopic of me, he would have named it a BLUE FILM”

She took her Benson and Hedges with last few cigarettes left and went to the balcony and lit a cigarette .Enjoying the view which was not quite enjoyable which had a grocery shop in front and a apartment  above. There was a University nearby so it was home to many students.

After smoking she took the bud with her and dumped it in the dustbin in kitchen. Took of her glasses went for bathing.

Afternoon passed; she ordered burgers and coke from a restaurant and in the evening she ran out of her cigarettes. So she decided to go out and buy herself a pack.

She locked the door and while coming downstairs she saw a boy signal her to somewhere in front of her balcony and when she was busy  noticing where he signaled from, the boy disappeared.

Somehow, she managed to read as it was on the door of the apartment where an A4 sized paper hanging on it, light was dim and she had her glasses on.

“YOU’RE ADORABLE”.

“PLEASE QUIT SMOKING”.

Followed by a cute chubby smiley drawn in green sketch pen . She blushed and laughed at the same time and came downstairs eagerly looking for the boy but he was gone but she knew he lived in that apartment and he wrote it. She went to the grocery store and bought a coffee-toffee. Without hesitating she wrote a reply and wrapped on the coffee-toffee she bought. Its weight was enough to reach from her balcony to his.

“Clever girl” said the boy, when he picked up the note wrapped parcel.              

It was not the note which made  amused him but the toffee. It seemed like that the boy never received something like that from a girl or might be something else.

“THANK YOU”

“I WILL TRY TO QUIT SMOKING”.

Followed by a cute little girly face; having bunny teeth on it as she had for real.

Smile on his face lasted for long. That night was one of the loveliest nights he ever had. He never thought of it that she will reply. It was his first time that he wrote something like that. He was afraid that what if she got angry and complained to his landlord about him, after reading it after all it was a bit flirty. But he was also sure that most of the girls ignore things like that, honestly he knew he did that without any wrong intentions. He just wanted to tell her that she was beautiful; and she mustn’t smoke.

Before that morning when he saw her on the balcony, he realized that he had never seen a beautiful girl like her. She was like the one of those girls whom every boy used to imagine about and she happened to him in reality. The Night passed. Day one of exchange of letters ended.

The grocery shop opened and the boy rushed to it, and bought a coffee-toffee, although he also had one but it was given by her so how could he return the gifted thing; reason one and reason two he also ate it last night.

He came back to his apartment, searched for some white paper and struggled to find it.  He found a calendar’s back and wrote on it.

“THANK YOU FOR THE TOFFEE”

“I WISH I COULD HAVE SHARED IT WITH YOU”

 Nothing sounds stupid in love. It was a short note, he wrapped in the toffee and threw it to the balcony where she used to come for smoke. Day two ends.

Next day, in the morning ,boy heard a knock on the door, he panicked that it must be his landlord or someone might be from the girl’s side. He was just wearing his boxers, gathered his bed sheet and wrapped around. It was only one knock. He opened the door and guessed what it was; again a letter but this time not wrapped in a toffee. He hurriedly opened it; it was a pear: might be it was for breakfast.

The series of letter continued for two weeks but one day he had no paper to write. While searching in the room, his eyes fell on his folder of academic degrees in which his CV was popping out. Gotcha!

This time he wrote at the back side of his CV. It seemed they were made for that. They faced no troubles in doing this game of letters.  In the evening,while he was returning from the grocery, he heard a noise at the his door. He rushed to the stairs and went directly to the apartment. He knew what was it and he was right. This time she also replied with her CV and it was inside a Pass-pass mouth-freshener.

“I received you letter on your CV, so I thought I must write on my CV” the boy read.

“Clever girl” the boy hushed.

She was a love letter girl in a text message world.

You know  a CV lets you know about the person. So in this way they both knew about each other’s education, hobbies and hometown, phone contact also. In this way, they had each other’s contact; but for more than a week not one of them called each other. You can judge both on this behavior.

The time came where the series of letters was going to an end. One day, in the morning Samrat wrote that he was moving from the apartment because he had a scuffle with the owner, he didn’t explain about it. The same evening the boy received a call from a melancholy voice asking,

“Is it Mr. Samrat There?”

“Yes ma’am Samrat this side” boy replied wondering who he was speaking with.

“Rekhaa this side, I thought you were free in the evening. Can we meet now, I’m in the parking” she said.

“Wait I am coming in a second” boy replied without thinking.

He went to the apartment and did all things to look well turned out and ran towards the parking. He knew she had a Honda; he reached  the car and knocked at the glass.

“Come. Sit inside” Rekhaa said with calm on her face.

He was nervous and sweating like he had all his taps on.

After 2 minutes silence in the car, Rekhaa asked “Where you going, when you’re leaving”.

Bull’s eye

Straight to the point without wasting the time; she was always like that.

“Within a few days” said Samrat.

“You can live with me if you want, I have an extra room”

His eyes were telling her the answers and he said “Yes”.

The next morning the boy shifted with his luggage. They had breakfast together in the garden outside. He stared at the small red hibiscus,

“I love red” he said.

“I love blue more” she said.

“I planted this when I shifted here as memory and I also think that planting a tree is like putting your arms around your mother and telling her that you love her” she said.

He was amazed. They planted a small mango tree together that day. Planting together is different kind of intimacy – shoulder to shoulder, rather than face to face. She took him to her room to let him see her work. There were bottles of beer painted in fascinating colors, wall hanging decorated by her and a shelf of books; he was more attracted to the books.

I always say “Marry a girl who has more books than pair of shoes”.

“Aaah! so according to your saying, I’ll be married one day, because I only have two pairs of shoes, least interested in them” she said while laughing.

She always used to think that no one will marry her. She was a tough person to live with. Although she was a little tough to live with but you know always there is that person who choose you with all your flaws and make you better out of yourself.

“You’re adorable. I know you’ll get a handsome groom for you” he said.

“I want a better man for myself” she said blushing.

“Don’t find a better man, choose a man who makes you a better woman” he said.

“Aww you’re a sweet mouth always” she poked.

“Close your eyes Rekhha”

EYES CLOSED

MILLONS OF THOUGHTS FLASHED THROUGH HER EYES WHEN SHE CLOSED THEM

He kissed her eyes.

They hugged tightly like both were trying to fix in each other like a puzzle.

Days passed and so the October, Love with a tint of friendship was getting stronger and stronger and the young mango plant was growing. But with the sugar there always come the ants. She always used to tease him for hearing those three magical words but he always twisted the tale. One day on a serious note she asked,

“Do you love me?”

He remained silent. She repeated politely. 

“Aren’t you sure about it”

“It’s not like that, I just don’t know how to take this” he said stammering.

POST WINTER STORM HAD STARTED OUTSIDE AND THE EMOTIONAL ONE INSIDE.

Both went to their beds, without dining.

He was not here forever. It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corners it sat , and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.

Months passed. She went broke. One morning smelled like the morning you don’t want to have in your life, she tried to lie on the bed for few extra minutes but failed. She threw her left hand on the corner table for glasses and damaged them.

“What a Kick ass start of the morning” she screamed.

The past few months really changed her. The relationship watered the demons inside her. Like a blue fairy turned into a cow boy.

DOOR BELL RINGS

She looked from the window to the doors and it was him. She threw her blanket and rushed towards the closet and took her father’s loaded revolver.

She opened the window fumbling. A blow of wind came in through the window.

“You son of bitch, how dare you come again?”

SHOT FIRED

MISSED COMPLETELY

GUN POWEDER SHOWERED ALL OVER HER FACE AND SHE FAINTED.

After a few hours

“Is anyone here?”

“Where am I?”

“Why  can’t I see anything?”

A ward boy rushed and called a nurse than the nurse called the doctor, constable standing outside the ward with a stranger. She was lying in a hospital bed in silence, no one was around her.

She tried to open her eyes, felt little burning in them.

“How are you feeling ma’am?” asked the doctor.

“Why the hell I can’t see?” she asked  and started weeping like a widow.

The doctor told her, “the gun powder took your sight, may be because you held the gun too close.”

“No!!! It was a quite a distance” she cried.

“Wind was blowing, it was the wind’s fault not mine” she screamed

“There are chances; I mean it can be temporary also. Your eyes sight might come back in a few weeks”, the doctor said.

“Is he dead, where is he I will kill him,” shouted Rekhaa.

“Kill who” asked the constable.

“Samrat”

“He was standing outside the door and he was wearing the blue shirt”.

“Ma’am it was me, I was at the door but I’m not Samrat. I was there to ask you for the accommodation. You have a To-Let board on the fence” he replied.

“People of the society told us that when the shot was fired, he was standing at the door and when you fainted, he broke the door and took you to the hospital”, constable stated to Rekhaa.

Rekhaa thought it was him, who was the greatest loss of her life. She almost ruined herself. Her career was at the verge of an end, the house she bought was going to be seized by the bank. An accident just happened that took her eyes and now she is an artist without eyesight. May be one day she will be able see again but right now she is just cursing herself and confused also because she is failing to decide what the real loss was. The one when Samrat left her or losing her eyesight.

Life is a series of losing what you have. We just have to choose which one is greater.

                                   

                                                                      THE END